Why Worry When People Don’t Like Me?

April 28th, 2008 by under Living in Grace. 1 Comment.

All my life, I’ve been very worried when people don’t like me. I believe it stems from my childhood, because my mother loved me very much, but clashed terribly with my sister who was born when I was 22 months old. My mom never seemed to like my sister very much and was sometimes very mean to her. It scared me. I always wondered when I would be next. My mother did turn her wrath toward me on several occasions, but I tried my hardest to be the best little girl I could be, so that she would never be mad at me. In my mother’s defense, she tells me she cried many tears and prayed many times over the discord she felt toward my sister, and went to many churches asking for prayer to get over her problem.

My mom became involved in the Pentecostal religion when I was five years old. Here my fears were magnified because now I not only had to do my best to be perfect and please my mother, but appease the wrathful God we served. It seemed no matter how good I was, I always had to be worried about going to hell. I could never do enough, it seemed to keep from going to hell. I asked forgiveness and remember asking Jesus into my heart dozens, if not hundreds of times as a child because every sermon seemed to be about how we were sinners and going to hell.

When I had children, I had to force myself to start getting over this concern, and accept the fact that not everyone was going to like me because even though I was expert at camouflaging myself for whomever I happened to be with at the moment, it was not possible to expect my children to have that talent. But not only that, I didn’t want my children to become like me. Scared to death if I couldn’t do everything everyone expected me to, they might cease to like me. Did you ever try to do everything everyone wanted you to? It’s impossible. Trust me, I’ve tried. You can only please some of the people some of the time.

I still struggle with this problem. I was having a problem with it last night, and I was laying in bed thinking to myself about this concern I have, about people not liking me, is not in line with what I’m learning from the Bible.

Here’s one verse I found which tells if I’m operating in the flesh then I can’t please God. And which further makes me think why am I so worried about pleasing man, when I should be striving to please God?

Romans 8:8 KJVR So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

Paul tells us to please our neighbor for our neighbor’s edification:

Romans 15:2 KJVR Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

The definition from Strong’s for please is “to be agreeable”. So, get along with your neighbor. I don’t believe that means bend over backwards and do everything you can to make your neighbor like you. Trust me, being a dispensationalist you are going to find a lot of people don’t like you. It makes so much sense, it is such GOOD NEWS, yet people cannot grasp it.

What does edification mean? “The equipping of believers with sound doctrine so that they experience genuine spiritual growth, which results in doctrinal unity, personal integrity and corporate harmony.”

Most importantly, Jesus died on the cross for me, hundreds of years ago, to save me from my sins before I was even born. God sent his son to do that work. That says to me that God loved me that much, to send his son to die. God loved me that much, and I wasn’t even born.

Paul tells us in Ephesians:

Ephesians 1:3 KJV Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:

What does it matter if ANYONE likes me? I am already blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places. Why would I need anything else?

Paul also tells us we are complete in Colossians:

Colossians 2:10 KJV And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:

We are already “complete”. From Strong’s reference: From G4134; to make replete, that is, (literally) to cram (a net), level up (a hollow), or (figuratively) to furnish (or imbue, diffuse, influence), satisfy, execute (an office), finish (a period or task), verify (or coincide with a prediction), etc.: – accomplish, X after, (be) complete, end, expire, fill (up), fulfil, (be, make) full (come), fully preach, perfect, supply.

We are finished, we are perfect. That extends to other areas of my life, like the size of my body. Society might tell me I’m not perfect, but you know what? God says I am complete in him. I’m perfect just the way I am. Why waste my energy and thoughts on worrying about such mundane things like this? We will have a new body

We live in a sin cursed world – we can’t expect to be happy every moment. We can only do like Paul says and learn to be content in whatever state we are in. If someone doesn’t like me, I can’t let that get me down, and put me into a depression. I am perfect and complete in the Lord, and depression is not part of being complete and perfect.

Philippians 4:11 KJV Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Oh, and remember up above where I was talking about doing everything I could to please a wrathful God in order to not go to hell? When I learned about rightly dividing the word of truth, I learned that the Bible is all for us, but not all to us. My salvation is not dependent on pleasing or appeasing God. The God of the Old Testament had a covenant with the Israelites and he doled out punishments for disobedience and sin, and he rewarded them for good behavior.

That’s not the role God is working in today. We aren’t the Israelites. We are living in the age of grace. God sent his son to die on the cross for our sins. All we have to do is believe that we are sinners, that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, that he was buried and rose from the dead in three days. That is it. No works. We don’t have to be baptized, we don’t have to pay tithes, we don’t have to go to church three times a week, we don’t have to do anything, but believe. It’s that simple.

In Him,

Are you saved? Would you like to know where you will spend eternity? I invite you to visit Do You Know Where You Will Spend Eternity? from Florida Grace Bible Berean Church. Please notify me if this link breaks!


One Comment

Anthony  on August 12th, 2008

Thank you

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